the weather suits me mood, i daresay. i was told as much {whispered into my listening ears they did} by the pitter patter of disparate, passing dripdrops making their way at long last from powerlines awnings treetops into the gutter to rejoin their cloud bourne brethren and sistren. and in the restless rustle of sodden leaves and the caresses of branches dancing in the autumn breeze something about their sporadic gesticulations beckoned me to ponder a while their coded message and it said "rest easy, child-there are no answers for your questions and no destination for your hither and thither bound thoughts-rest easy and see where brother wind will carry you, as he does playfully and joyfully carry us." a little birdy told me a grand and great secret, if you can imagine that. he said that self doubt and self pity were cheap cheap cheap. and i believed him.

as might be inferred from the frequency of recent posts i attempt to undertake the task of setting forth in text form a rapid fire barrage a blitzkreig of tidbits and pieces of my innermost and outermost to purge my being of pent up feelings emotions and half thunk thoughts and ideas. an ablution of sorts, washing my soul with the pure words that ooze and slide round the spirals of my fingertips and find their way to the keys upon which they rest. with the sincere and ultimate hope of finding some gem in the varied twisting turning damp dark confines and chasms of mind and heart. as futile and perhaps fruitless as this endeavour may seem i retain the admirable capacity for utterly stubborn blind stupidity.

after twenty or thereabouts ounces of caffeine i feel a little jittery but can hold it together just enough to allow the abundant nervous energy to leave my body in a somewhat linear manner (ie clickey clacking digits).

i feel my mind quickly unraveling and like a long disjointed line of drunken recruits scrambling to muster any coherent sense of order and poise destined for harsh punitive measures. on such a note i shall part ways.

















ae.