the cold light settled in the pit of our minds while through a looking glass, finger smudged & hazy, we drank the stars. we took in their stark familiarity, their beautiful sadness filled us with an empty hope that, though without direction, in our dreams pierced the hearts of a thousand souls. our wake traced pale memories crooked and easy to follow. wasn't it always so obvious weren't we always so slow to see won't the day arrive when these burning suns swim a little further from our shores?


















ae.

the roads along which the prophets walked are littered with silence. disparate remains of faithful whispers & righteous sighs. devoted dust motes hang upon sun stained air with unreal clarity & unclear intent. padded footsteps mirror war drums on the breeze & the horizon bound stare on their collective countenance echoes a history long forgotten, a wiped clean slate wrapped & pressed warm to the breast like an holy infant. helplessly tangled amidst wooded beads, strung pieces of silver & gold kissed by the commencing hammer & delicate, brittle grass, dried by centuries & woven with knobby fingers. once green & growing & gently laid to rest under the heels of some wizened & sagging forebear.















ae.

i once knew a man who hardly spoke a word at all. less still did his whispers speak harshly of others. to those who knew him & those whose circuitous orbit brought them eventually to each other again & again, & from time to time. he seemed more a curiosity, an intriguing at first, yet seemingly easily solvable mystery, a childs riddle of human existence.

often he found himself treading upon unstill waters. spume kissing the worn heels of his feet. a sea of resent. he would wander between countless creaking hulls & cracked keels. yet he smiled as he did so. a welcome port he had opened for these vessels, welcome to those who deemed it necessary, appropriate or justifiable to harbour there.














ae.

with an atypical, earnest, & grand sweep were loosed ribbons of sky. shredded remnants of a studded & shuttered divine ear. crystal meaninglesness & stillborn lights tittered & trembled under the ambrosia caress of the void. touched by a profound, beautiful sadness that sometimes kindled & flickered at the corners in the eyes periphery or when the time seemed right to rise & consume with wanton angst once darkened pupils now opalescent now wise now nowhere to be seen.
























ae.

coffee & legs & a thousand years inbetween/thighs, sighs & worm eaten swirling lies/at the heart of this matter & form & substance...




















ae.

thrift store angels & cast away saints watched from dark, shadow clotted alleys. we felt their eyes, burning globes that did not dwindle or diminish come the rains. a cold, dead stone rose stiff in the sky carrying upon pock marked shoulders an immense burden of time. the great eye in the night firmament could not see us as we stole away to our own murky corners, on the fringes of dim light mirrored & transported across the void. with what care we were placed here, i thought, with such alacrity of our dependence upon light. a holy thing, its absence refulgent amidst the blackest of our dreams, the ghastliest of faces astride tireless ebony steeds whose whinnies & snorts so sharply supplant us from slumber...
























ae.

upon your blue & ivory marbled skin, along your arched & supple spine,
subtle incantations lay, & faintly fading magick lines

with trembling shoulder i retraced them there, for sake of clarity,
not an act of distant interest nor of selfish charity

ancient longing guides my hands & drops me to my knees,
into the soil in which i sink flows freely my disease

i ate your words & used them to finish your sentences,
i came here hungry to be taught, as one of loves apprentices

i toiled long into the night, under the auspices of hate,
in dark still hours passed a fury, roaring spate

these visionsdreamsthreads of time were quickly sewn unto,
the aether of my quiet space was struck & pierced by you




















ae.

while the eye of distraction & glimmering lights
kept you up undreaming through long, cold nights
did you ever stop to wonder or entertain the thought
you arent the victim arent the target of some faraway plot
as the curtain falls to dress the naked floor
opens for the young man a bare & shivering door
in a scarlet flowing river comes a rush of blood
within his hands as they reach begins the mighty flood
the burden of stale memory & tales untold
brings roving minds & hungry hearts back into the fold
under greedy watchful eyes & a heavy hand
driven from greener pastures to some desolate land
bare teeth grimaced scraping arid earth
seeking high searching low never what its worth
but if you fall out of line & turn your head to the sky
an empty void stares back without telling you why
breathe deep the dust from a thousand souls dead
all the while widens deeper the chasm in your head
high above in wooden towers climbs on cobbled feet
far below gazes at rain damp & dirty streets























ae.

“better to watch your feet from the shadow to the tip” she said. Words I never understood. As implied by her languid tone and belied by her agile form, the sinewy strength of her words, though firm and determined after her sometimes manner, left no mark upon my parchment paper skin.


















ae.

your legs wrapped limply, loosely round my waist though their slack form belied a tension, or lets call it potential, a hidden energy that dispelled even the draft from the open window next to our bed from tickling or causing to stray out of rigid place one follicle in nearly hysteric anticipation. acutely aware of little legs draped across my frame, hairs, a thousand million of them, tiny daggers. these i felt. but i was not aware of feet. soft soled, calloused, clammy or bearing invitation to touch i could not tell. an unwavering band of light stretched across picturesque, rumpled sheets, rising and falling over valleys and into crests with grace and ease. a perfunctory action, though an exquisite display nonetheless. i thought of our bodies, so clumsy and misguided in comparison, as my eye ran the length of liquid light to the precipice of our quiet, quilted world.















ae.

i set down my words with care. gently. paper boats sewer bound, guttural and grimey to the ears/soft and supple to the touch. laying them, along with the dirt dust and dreams of a thousand souls more restless, more listless, more curious than my own, perhaps another, stumbling in the oppressive waste and mumbling in the chalky twilight will find them there. at their feet swirled and eddied on a finite loop in subconscious mind tape twitter and reel to reel infinity. perchance in the jumbled script of lyrical nonsense some soul susseration lies, therein divinity cries quiet and meek tepid tears, reluctant and cooled by evening wind in their measured journey down freckled, smiling cheeks...

allow us some trinket, a bauble or some glimmer in your blink of an eye. polish it with greasy rags, circular & slow. give us a glimpse of our imperfect natures.

some days we figured as much, that time was never your friend. ceasing to be a companion long ago, the march of minutes & hours eventually passed you by & by. but we waited. for only you we waited. sleeping hands nested in our laps we waited. quiet eyes, staid but hopeful we waited. with murmurring hearts that stretched & folded in the midst of their slumbers we waited.


















ae.

a cookie cutter moon looked on. stars hung, stiff. lolling tongues swollen, desert-wind dried, fly laden & brittle. the dust of dead souls & burned out suns married in a tangled union, stasis & crusted spittle. ligneous moans. rotting fibres creaked under the duress of grave & hallowed curse. or this time a sacred & gracious boon. a loving, merciful & motherly, if gallowed, nurse.



i awoke from another world. all slow time & an orange marmalade glow. ragged edges & whispy lines defined familiar shapes; proclomations & geometries sometimes better left unfurled.














ae.

my tongue wrecked & cold to the touch but warmed your bones. warned. worn. warped. torn. scorned. the bits of gray that bound these words to the page. a tongue drug these letters across your mind. a living hunk of scathed meat pulled through desert towns sand & dust choked pockets of resistance & refuge. "we refuse. we refuse." a resounding cry.

i fell to pieces/fell to ruin under the spell of your silvery tongue
dripped
slipped
from the night it seems into my waking dreams & walking visions/sometimes i wonder.
& sometimes i dont.
but these songs these chorus to love & death that i peddle for no-one no-two span ages like the steady rise & fall of the sun. i tried to break your stride so steady & sure. no cause to stumble. that was not the intent. merely to pause. i hoped only to stop a moment your steady march/instant in time/a blunder in rhyme &

blink

you carried on. but not before you saw moss/cracked stone/ancient, granite bound tome penned in cuneiform mystery school language pebble chiseled & lovingly scrawled for the hearts content & selfish purposes.


























ae.

a mass of meat, a corporeal congregation that jostled & nestled uncomfortably amidst soft wooden pews. remnants of the lives of trees taken by grandfathers, fathers & sons of the bodies that gathered. trees logged, planed & crafted while being inundated with a stream of holy utterances & sacred mutterings. requests of forgiveness, answers to calls of duty, whispers of love & tearful promises of devotion navigated through rows of tombstone teeth to nest on trembling timbres.



knees touched. shy. under coy lashes & the influence of wayward glances they quietly withdrew, in the friendly yet wholly seperate manner that they often do. beads of sweat flecked otherwise immaculate figures/frames that mirrored the idols lining the walls.



still the doors were open.



the lovers spoke & sang their song. as briney globes & worshippers alike gathered with crystalline precision, tensions fell & tickled unclad feet. a veritable sea, pooling upon the floor along with passions, fluids, moist garments, inhibitions, preconceptions & misperceptions about the nature of things, the veil that seperates wanton eyes from the haves & havenots, the holys & the profane, the greeting of lips that replaces the one we always imagined as the epitome of love & the fleeting kiss that yet now flickers & glimmers in the dim reaches of our distant memory.



men speak often of the collision of worlds. with flaming eyes, frothing mouths, swollen tongues & gnashing teeth. blank minds & whitened knuckles bare, pulled so taught the gentle tug of a breeze threatens their grip of flesh on flesh. what lies at the joyful division of these worlds is the unraveling of fortunate minds, the undoing of meek hearts & humble souls.



























ae.

i was content.

save for the absence of a familiar voice, a tell tale trail of words, strewn, scattered. causing to sway & list in their wake the tiny strands in my ears a warm wind billowing a clean sheet winnowed from the bed. wet cloud borne singing its ancient song through branches trunks soiled linens on the line. sliced by a million green blades that leave no mark upon bare feet. feet worn smooth by a thousand caresses a thousand kisses. blessed by gnarled grimy palms/fingers & cracked tear-stained lips.

so instead i clung to my pillow. a poor surrogate. tattered. all lumps & misshapes. a ragged bag of meat & bone that at one time i guess looked like you. & under cold light & the dark that hangs precariously above all of our heads felt like you if i tried hard enough long enough/is enough.

i was content.

my clumsy left hand felt its way through a maze of hardened, dry flesh & found the one thing that seemed yet alive. blood flowed no more through/from the heart instead pooled between these trunks of stone on which once i had planted roots of quartz, crystallized & stood tall. my warmth was all i knew, all i needed. was all. i was content. for who needs more? i came on my stomach. i left it there, but wiped clean my hand. i let the cracks in the cold granite of my temple imbibe/reabsorb the life that lay there til it had turned cool cold coldest & clung to me like moss. creeping even now towards any last bastion of salvation. though so salivous lascious salacious holding it closer than the holy beads on your breast. i slept restlessly. awoke to what i thought was yet a dream dreamed what i thought was yet real...





(bleh)
















ae.

gold flecked leaves that would not travel with the wind. you kissed them there, as they lay, full of wanderlust & empty of longing. i can't remember now, it's not so clear to me anymore, whether your pink & chapped lips brushed autumnal remnants, harbingers of short cold days, & gave them over to a death only slightly more dignified. like rich & sickly kings in forgotten moth-eaten robes mossy keeps & crumbling empires, you gave them over to rot, sedentary, solitary in their multitude. to rot, but not without a little glam. rememberance of days a little, if only, more resplendant. my grasp on the past is feeble.

forgive me.

maybe perhaps it was the masses of wet leaves, gathering together their last meager bits of glory, the tiny delicate whispers of life still contained in their wracked frames, that gave unto you. collectively, never forgetting greener days. they recognized in you something they themselves had. have. will always remain. looking back now i think they found you a kindred spirit, their ephmeral lives given over to yours.

forgive me. my mind is tired as my body is tired as my eyes tire of searching for meaning in the mundane.

but i can't help thinking as i rot in my throne that the kingdom you gave me was never my own.





















ae.

(experimental stream of consciousness)







we only own the night lets pretend its never ending never bending to our will yet still it seems appears by all means to be but let us see for we shall and we should not for yours but our own good nights and mornings bring sun and lighting our shame we never knew a song a hymn softly hummed in time syncopated though it was with the rhythm of the stars crying over our heads we danced in the lawn and hid in the trees dug pits for our dirty bones and covered them with leaves to be found to be lost maybe perchance to give way to others we know you are out there though we shant see it with you our love stays grows rewinds and expands upon ancient exhausted futile philosophies writ on stone tablets cuneiform hieroglyph and each grain of dust indefatigable in its relentless pursuit to destroy to wipe clean the slate of our being endless though it may seem to be crucial it may appear as a need it may seem to be right lest we forget we only own the night.



















ae.

"i sold what i had to the demons at my back
in return,
they traded for my heart all those things that i lacked"

my baby told me once when crying so full of shame.
saying not evermore, at no finite point in time
could to her trembling universe be laid claim.

a head full of stone
a heart full of lead

lust.
desire.
sloth.

dread.

all those vices we must.
please, oh how can we? can we take this all,
all too serious too fucking swimmy in our brains.
wouldn't i rather gambol after a soft man across listing grass sea plains

drift amongst flotsam. flowers fragrant coloured serene.
distant. disguised from ancient beasts.
so it seemed.

but this happened in my other life. seen through others eyes.
i would. i should've. i couldn't had i tried.
to overcome. to oversee. to make slaves of my bidding.
these demons.
yet even now i find myself,
i find myself sitting.





























ae.

the spaces in between the smallest of our constituents can only be referred to by indirect means & insecure methods. by men in clean white coats & pale, sun-starved skin, blasphemous practitioners of black magick & ancient apocryphal amalgams. circle logic and Babel. towering nonsense & staggering genius.

my tongue swelled & in my mouth tasted of bile & yesterdays idle thoughts. words that hadn't gone down when i chose to swallow them mingled with the meager lunch you & i had shared earlier that day. all grease & bitter. all ill at ease & stutter. i slid the rigid mass of muscle along the backs of imperfect, yellowing teeth that formed what i liked to believe a genuine smile. a crooked if boyish & naive smile. my tongue swelled like the surging tides & likewise shrank back at the thought the understanding, the knowledge, novel & curious, of its reckless nature. self serving means to selfless ends. the waves subsided, my tongue retreated to the recesses of my brittle throat down, down to lick the wounds that itself had opened. my tongue retreated & the waves became as if unbourne, crawling back drawing into cold briney depths of a long barren womb.

earthbound & setting sun crowned you stood before me. nimbus aflame you existed unafraid but ashamed, you would have died for the stars. i wanted to die in your arms i wanted to be cleansed by the hot tears of despair that in my dry eyes i envisioned you would shed for me. you would have died for the stars while in their perpetual madness, utter & terrible, these very same these thousand million cold suns ground your bones to dust.



but i couldnt find my words. they eluded me or maybe perhaps it is i who carelessly lost them. the shapes of their letters, my expert punctuation & exacting delivery & cadence would be no match for the indefatigable march of numbers. the graceful unfolding of the The. i shook & i shivered at the grand design of things that i saw scrawled in the wet sand at my feet, the adventuresome lock of hair that fell out of or perchance into place on your forehead. the low throaty babble of the great architect rumbled in the surf & pierced the air in the cry of the birds circling my head. more apparent was the neat equation, the exquisite demonstration that fit between the parenthesis that cut so harshly, directed the light so cleanly on either side of your smile. the distances between the galaxies the vast limitless tracts we had already wetted with our lust dried with our greedy love bathed with our tears honest & profound & covered our tracks with this infinite longing.

the sun kept the fire at your heel. with it, you awoke & were driven here, to the sea. when it burned above you yearned to be buried deep within me, to sink into my cool & welcome oasis. and when dusk fell, so too did your tender feet into synchopated rhythm as the relentless heat at your back & the directionless memory of me caused a curious, wandering dance. calculated misstep led you here. but i told myself it was written in the spaces between as the sun, for whom you would perish, set, & you began, as you always do, to walk back to me...

































ae.

dropped the pebble of my heart
into the wellspring of your mind
causing to shudder and to tremble
the surface in quest to find

neath a sheet so thin
a veil so sheer

the quiet recessed depths
seem so far and yet so near

feathers of the ravens wing
are gathered and are kept
so the pebble of my heart was took
and in your waters slept




















ae.

the world unseen

and the word inbetween

that feeling you had

with our bodies unclad

the hidden tiny place

that i spy in your face

opens its doors and throws the shutters

my mind slowly unravels meanders and mutters

all my little words could never reveal

the breadth of understanding i wish you to feel

so lets table that one for some later date

in the meantime lets get one thing straight

the letters i speak of are right and they are true

as the pools of your eyes are a deep and rich blue

this is the corniest poem i ever have wrote

my heart is the weakest of beasts that ever you smote


















ae

a soft rain fell on your naked shoulders.

one that made a sound like the running of fingers through your hair. you didn't seem to mind, especially. you didn't appear to care. when the sun made once again its appearance and the dead dirt scum shit grime that was washed from our bodies, our homes, our places familiar and those unknown. the places most of us would rather not remember. not see. the water that carried all these things and more, that made us feel dirty yet but for a brief moment less so, began to rise back into the sky from whence it was bourne. as it did so, silent sounds gathered, some reluctant, some willing, most unawares and unwittingly. they parted ways from the dewy drops and were caught in the boughs of the trees outside your room, tangled helplessly in the sutures of telephone lines criss crossing this town, and folded into the wings of passing birds. and their numbers grew and swelled with the last flare of the evening sun. and as night fell, so too did these, the remnants of passersby daytime voices, fall from rustling leaves, leaves grateful to unburden their tiny shoulders. they drifted lazy and lost amongst the eaves and roof tops. closer still, they swam in an airy sea. a welcome port for these weary travelers, they settled on your window sill. at the sight of your face, serene. upon seeing your breast, heaving. with feigned hesitance and a familiar and overacted reticence they crept silently in their magic way to your ear and there they grew to caucaphonous splendour. your body writhed so arduous and tender. a slow, deliberate shudder that took time upon time to build yet passed in the blink of an eye. you woke me. but whispered in my ear with a tongue i had not kissed, one whose voice i did not know. you told me to quiet, to lie back and allow sleep, sweet slumber to press upon my eyelids her pieces of silver. and i did. without question. without hesitation. i let slip my mind. to the dark sea of nothing to seek what i may find. and this is what i dreamed

a soft rain fell on your naked shoulders...




















a work in progress.














ae.

our voices do not carry to heaven in the air,
whilst idly our eyes into the sky vainly stare.
laden with truth and perhaps heavier than even i suppose
they gather and form in pools round our toes.

hallowed is the ground upon which falls these promises we speak.

sacred are the heels under which these words of love do greet.






























ae.